"it's been a pretty great mardi gras. out of everyone in the city, i probably spent the least amount of time at parades, but i got a lot of quality time with friends, visiting and local. there was lots of dancing and dressing up and trash-talking. (my three out-of-town guests are from chicago, and chicago knows how give lip.)"
although i could continue in that same tense and pre-date this blog, i don't feel up to it. i'm having insomnia/flipped-schedule problems, and i'm getting tired. i slept eight hours yesterday, but it was from 7:30am 'til 3pm. before that i was up 23 hours straight. i know nobody cares, no one reads this; i'm just writing for me. just feeling a little loopy.
anyway, eric lab rat and sarah were in town, and so was elias/trae and it was really good. it's hard to go back to not having friends like that around. some needs were filled by their company, others were created. sometimes i really need my hand held. sometimes i crave to be safe within that forcefield emitted by someone who has learned to deal with social anxiety better than i have.
that's key, really, that learning -- that dealing with social anxiety is something that can be learned and improved upon. i don't know if it's a generational problem, but several of my friends have told me about their own feelings of insecurity and awkwardness. maybe i just attract people like that, and approach kids who are sensitive in that way. even those who seem confident and outgoing have secret shyness. i'm not saying anything deep here, i know. nothing original.
that i'm going to visit chicago in less than two weeks throws a diamond in my mental cogs. i have mentally moved into the future. the anticipation is almost too strong, it blurs the present. all i can think about is where i want to eat and what i want to wear and who i want to gnaw on with my eyes.
this blog is too damn personal.
what this entry was supposed to be about was visiting two cemeteries with lab rat, sarah, and rebecca. we went to lafayette 1 and 2, seeking the tomb of marie laveau. even having lived here over a year, i had not been to the hallowed grave of the vodou queen. within lafayette 1, there are two mausoleums dedicated to her. one of them has a plaque, and fairly generic parade beads and silk flowers are scattered before it. the other tomb is unmarked, but the stones are scattered with lipstick tubes, coins, broken jewelry, toys, and candy. both aboveground monuments are graffitied all over with XXX.
superstition goes, if you want to beg an intercession of her powerful spirit, you write that xxx on her tomb. we overheard one guide say that you have to turn yourself three times; another tour guide said that you had to knock three times, and make your wish out loud. maybe it was supposed to rhyme. the guides also told their tour groups that writing on the graves is frowned upon. however, my companions and i were self-directed, and our wishes superseded any living authority figure's ideas about vandalism. for me to mark those bricks was about respect towards mme. laveau as a historical woman of power, and love for spirituality. lab rat, sarah and i marked both laveau graves, hedging our bets.
i used my lip gloss and left beads. (rebecca didn't put her hands on anything.) there's still some uncertainty as to whether either of them was authentic. i dressed up for my meeting with the idea of marie laveau. i wore balenciaga and cashmere and rhinestones.
there were a lot of other unusual monuments at lafayette 1.
we'd gone to lafayette 2 first; it was grandiose by comparison.
then we had late lunch at the american sector (one of the john besh restaurants) and went to crescent city comics. we tried to stop by the iron rail collective in the marigny, but it had just gotten shut down by the city, two days earlier. that's all kind of hot mess. lab rat and i went to the art house the following day, to make up for it.
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